Consider me, as my sweet, dear friend Sharon once said , “a nicer Christian version of the lady on What Not to Wear.”  Here’s what Stacy London and I might say to Christian gals:  A tight slinky cocktail dress and spike heels are not for church or the office. Jeans are not professional, unless you work in a creative field, and even then, they should be looser, dark and pressed. Shorts are not for church unless it’s a swim party or a picnic. Pajamas and sweats are only for sleeping…

It’s a confusing world, I know. Fashion can be a blessing or nightmare for many of us. But one thing most Christian women agree about is some modicum of modesty.

Walking through the mall with my sixteen-year old daughter, I wondered:  Why are booty shorts so popular right now?! Very few girls actually look attractive with their cheeks hanging out.

And then some do look attractive, but if someone is looking only at your bum-cheeks, they’re missing a whole lot else that’s more about the real you, the you God created (see my recent post The Miley in All of Us). In my unrealistic world, especially after we reach 35 or 40 years of age, emphasis on the age, short shorts are forbidden except for beachy, recreational activities.

Beautiful girls and women, listen up:

First of all, I think guys actually want some intrigue. No need to give it all away in walking, talking, jiggling billboard. Secondly, let’s be real, it’s a jealous, competitive world, girls; we women don’t like to see women displaying all their goods at once. We feel threatened by each-others bountifulness. Sad but true. Why create animosity simply by what we’re wearing or not wearing?

One of my former principals when I taught school had a simple pneumonic to help girls and women remember to keep it more modest:

No boobs, no back, no belly, no crack!

Honestly, I’m no prude. I might even wear a bikini to the beach on a distant (deserted) island if I felt confident enough. (And if my husband was with me). After all, we were born naked; plus, Adam and Eve walked around naked in the garden until they felt ashamed.

But, in our over-sexualized society, we have made the beauty of the human form less about aesthetics and more about competition and lust.  Such is the world we live in.

Having said this, I think there are many different ways to accentuate your beautiful body without over-doing it.  Here are 5 rules I stick to:

1) Form matters:  If I’m going to wear something form-fitting, like jeggings or skinny jeans, I wear them with a loose shirt or cardigan. Along the same lines, if I’m wearing a fitted shirt, I wear looser jeans or slacks. A form fitting dress gets a cute cardigan or shrug. You get the idea?

2) One skin matters:   I try to limit how much skin I show. For example, if I’m showing my back in a dress, I don’t also show too much neckline and legs. Or if my shirt is even a little bit low-cut (rarely) I wear a blazer or denim jacket. If I’m wearing something shorter, like a dress, a skirt or shorts, I cover my upper arms and back. Also, please, when wearing low-rider pants, make sure your shirt is long enough to cover any crack-peep!

3) Foot-wear matters:   I love to wear heels and wedges, but I don’t generally wear them if I’m wearing a shorter dress or shorts.  I feel too vampy. (The exception would be if I’m going on a romantic cruise or date with my husband on a tropical island where no one knows me :)! )Also, I would not wear open-toe shoes to an interview; I’m not sure why, but it seems inappropriate to show your potential boss your piggies. Oh, and glittery, strappy heels are too sexy for daytime, and your cubicle.

4) Discretion matters:  I don’t wear or show anything on the outside that I consider underwear. This includes thongs, knickers, bras or bra straps and camisoles. Oh, and I consider pajamas, even fuzzy Sponge-Bob- printed pajamas, underwear. No pajamas to the market!

5) Function matters:  I wear appropriate attire for the occasion. When in doubt as to what is appropriate attire for a casual function or outing, I wear dark-washed, pressed jeans with a button-up shirt, a little blazer, and some kind of conservative heels (boots for fall/winter, wedges for spring/summer).  When I simply don’t know, I ask someone what to wear, although I’ve recently found that my definition of “business casual” is not the world’s definition. In Lamar Colorado, that means jeans and boots. In Denver, that is slacks and a sweater. I don’t want to know what business casual means in Miami.

Seriously, though, your clothing can be a beautiful form of self-expression. But what you wear can quickly become a distraction from your true inner beauty if you display all of your assets in a way that doesn’t honor who God created you to be.

I want to know what you think. Should we dress more or less modestly than what I suggest?