“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.” Deuteronomy 7:9 (NIV)

Seeing beauty in unlikely places is not too difficult if you live in Colorado, but I am challenged to share with you both stark beauty and the beauty in discomfort and difficulties. God is good in all things.

My 18-year old son Keaton came for a visit. When we moved recently, he stayed behind in southeast Colorado to finish up a semester at the local community college.

I miss him terribly, so I clung to him like the true Velcro-mom I am.

This photo of Keaton and I was taken at Garden of the Gods Park. The whole time we were there, I resisted the urge to run up to one of the rock formations and press my own face up against a cool, chalky facade.

I wondered if God’s face was anything like those rocks:  gloriously craggy nuanced shadow leaving traces of red on the people below.

I wanted to know what God felt like.

I wanted to press myself up against His face there.

I wanted comfort in and from this strange yet lovely new place.

But Keaton would have been mortified!

Instead, the poor boy was the recipient of my unwanted affection all weekend.

Keaton is so beautiful. I can’t stop feeling his hair and smelling his neck when he’s around, like a momma doggy that’s just making sure he’s still mine.

I want his goodness to rub off on to my palm to carry around like a souvenir for these long days I won’t see him.

Yes, I know I need to let go, but that doesn’t make it easy.

What I’ve learned about God from raising children is that He always, always longs for us.

This next photo is a collage of experiences I had that put me wayyy out of my comfort zone.

I tend to be introspective and introverted, but God has been challenging me to move out for his sake with my words (as in this blog) and my actions.

Some of the notes are from a meeting I had a couple of weeks ago with Michele Cushatt (too bad I didn’t get a picture with her!), a speaker, writer, and coach who helped define my own unique bellísima ministry, platform and goals. She is gorgeous, insightful and gifted.

Other ways I moved out of my comfort zone, besides leaving everything I’d ever known in a small town where all my friends and family live:

I went alone to a women’s discipleship luncheon, plus a fabulous women’s small group at a brand new church. Doesn’t seem like much, but going by myself forced me to meet and engage with some amazing women without the safety of knowing anyone.

At least for now, oddly enough, anonymity makes me feel more like my true self, the woman I feel God is continually creating me to be.

I also participated in a leadership conference at a new church.  Nothing about attending this new church is comfortable, especially since prayer is pivotal, and the pastor frequently asks us to pray and commune with complete strangers.

It was scary but wonderful.

Next I attended a reception in Denver for Hope House, a non-profit that empowers teen moms. I was so touched by these beautiful girls’ stories and am anxious to become a part of making them see themselves as God’s lovely creation.

Finally, I signed up to volunteer for Compassion International.  I was hoping to get tucked away in a small corner writing or stuffing envelopes, but God said,

“You want to make a difference? I’m going to make you more uncomfortable.”

Sigh….so, this woman who frequently gets lost in the same mall she’s shopped in dozens of times…is volunteering to lead tours around Compassion headquarters!

I’m willing and He is able, right?

What I’ve learned about God from uncomfortable situations is that he longs to teach me something new for His glory.

In this last photo, I discovered something beautiful and broken about myself this week in a symbolic place:  my messy closet!

Yes, the implications here are cliche. Yes, we tend to hide things in our proverbial closets.

But I realized the more stressed or anxious I am about an event or situation, the longer it takes me to find what I want to wear in my closet.

My point is:  I want to look the most put together when I feel the most vulnerable.

I’m putting on a pretty façade to mask my insecurities.

Ironically, I’m looking for affirmation of who I am outside of my closet by delving into my closet.

I’m not sure if dressing to hide my flaws is such a bad thing, but I’m sharing this with you to let you know I don’t have it all together.

I often don’t feel worthy or beautiful on the inside. I fail so much and have so much left to learn that I worry I won’t have time to get it right, or worse:

That I’ll misrepresent the One I’m made to reflect.

So next time you see me perfectly put together on the outside, my friend, I need you to ask me how I am on the inside before you compliment my outfit.

It will make me uncomfortable, but chances are we’ll have more to talk about.

What I’ve learned about God because of my insecurities is that he wants and will use me anyway.

What about you? What beautiful insights did you discover this week?