This is the last of a 3 part post.

W is for weeping.

In American culture, crying out or weeping is often seen as weak and pitiful. We’re often uncomfortable with people who weep because we don’t always know how to respond. But in other cultures, including my own Hispanic culture, weeping is necessary and expected in times of grief or great joy.

Few can say that someone else’s tears are not moving, yet fewer still can say they are comfortable crying in front of even close friends and family. Yet crying out is mentioned innumerable times in the Bible (I tried to research how many times but apparently no one else has counted exactly). Sometimes crying out is mentioned as a lament over pain or sin. Sometimes weeping is another expression of great joy.  David wept, Isaiah wept, Jesus wept…so why don’t we?

The answer is that even more than getting real and angry, weeping makes us feel most exposed, most vulnerable. But we have to get exposed and vulnerable in order to help each other, or for God to help us. Jesus tells us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” There isn’t much comfort for what is unexpressed, unacknowledged or repressed.

Except for weddings and funerals, where crying is more socially acceptable, I tend to cry in private, like in the shower so no one can see me.  The tears mix with the water. I can say I got soap in my eyes if anyone asks me why I was crying.

Especially in front of my children, I don’t want to be seen as weak or vulnerable.

I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding pain. I get that from my momma. She has endured such difficulties and heartache, yet I’ve only seen her cry a handful of times in forty-two years.  Yeah, she’s tough, but even she would tell you it’s not good to bottle all those tears up. She told me once, “If I start crying, I may never stop. I might lose control and die of a broken heart.”

This, my friends, is true sadness:  that we’ve closed ourselves off from each other to such an extreme we’re willing to let each other die of unexpressed grief.

Fellow wimps and wimpettes: Let’s make it ok to cry out to God and to each other. If can God can handle our tears, why can’t we?

Willingness to expose our vulnerabilities leads to true, lasting friendships. He’ll help us when we don’t know what to say or do. Presence of mind and body are more valuable than words in most situations anyhow. After all, we don’t actually hear God, yet He comforts us. His Spirit is present when friends weep together.

I cried last night in front of a bunch of women because I finally admitted I don’t let friends close to me. I felt so vulnerable and..stupid! I have so much to be thankful for and I’m still whining about friendship? I’m still worried about being rejected for who I am? Lord, when’s it gonna end!

Some nice new friends rallied around me and provided hugs and Kleenex, but next time I see them, I’m still going to feel vulnerable.  I’m pretty tough really, despite my inner wimp, but I’m afraid now they’re going to see me as weak. I’m going to have to be ok with that and let them close to me anyway.

Friends, let’s get real together. I’m praying God continues to break me and you open and spill us out all messy and raw in order to put us back together into new, beautiful masterpieces.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”Proverbs 17:17 ESV