This is a photo from a couple of October’s ago..but I love it because I’m leaning on my husband Curtis.

We aren’t supposed to hold people on a pedestal, to regard them as a god, but I believe we are God’s hands and feet to each other.

Once, as my husband Curtis and I were talking about how we can’t depend on others like we depend on God, he told me “I know I’m not supposed to need you, but I do.”

(Those words inspired a song we wrote together. I’ll see if I can get him to sing it sometime and post it here for you to hear. I love when he sings to me . To  learn more about other songs we’ve written together go here)

I hate to throw around the word “blessed” because I think it’s been watered down to meaninglessness, but I believe I’ve been blessed with the man God chose for me.

Neither of us started out knowing how to love well, but we’re figuring it out together. Twenty-two years later we still get things wrong, but we’ll die trying.

Listen up you girls looking for love in all the wrong places, you ladies-yet-in-waiting..you who desperately post your hearts out on social media, and you whose longing prayers spill quietly from your eyes.

This is beautiful love:

He gulps before he kisses me.

Like he’s so overwhelmed by emotion that he has to swallow it down, to catch his breath. Like I’m something precious. Like he’s written my name on his heart.

He never expects me to do anything for him.

He irons his own clothes, makes his own lunch, gets his own plate. I can do those things for him and he says, “Why’d you do that? I can do it.”

He simply wants me to love him like he loves me. His expectation is more than actions.

You know that song Aerosmith sings called “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”? Where the lyric says, “I can stay awake just to hear you breathing..” That’s my husband. He has spent countless nights awake making sure I’m ok, making sure I’m literally and figuratively still breathing.

He takes care of me better than I do. He’s stronger and more determined than I am.

He makes me laugh, bringing joy in at unexpected moments when I just don’t /can’t see it. His wry humor reminds me to not take myself so seriously. His charm works like a charm to lift my spirits.

He encourages me through my insecurities.

When I ask him what I should do with my life (this is often– turns out I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up), he simply and emphatically tells me “Write!”

He wakes up with the Son to pray for me and our family, and then heads cheerfully to work, only to return at night and work another job or two.

When I catch him rubbing his eyes wearily, he looks up, smiles and says, “Are you happy? I’m glad you’re happy.” And he means it.

He loves to provide and provides to love so I can be home for my family, and so I can be home to write and to serve where God leads me.

He believes in me even when I don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, nothing about him is perfect:  he’s a mess-making, cereal-chomping, quiet-shattering man with an ego, yes.

But he loves me so well he gives me hope, rest and warmth beyond anything I’ve known before.

For some of us it’s hard to love well until someone shows us how.

I pray every day I’m loving him as well as he loves me.

You may not have this love yet, sweet sister, but you will. Until then don’t settle for an imposter. God himself is waiting for his pure bride. Don’t extinguish your lantern yet, nor squander all the oil He’s given you before his return.

What I’ve learned about God because of my husband is that He has written my name upon his palm; that He sees me as precious;  that He expects nothing from me but to love him back; that laughter is a gift He gives me and joy a choice I make every day; that He has gentle hands to guide me and strength enough for both of us.

(The title says 3 Beautiful Insights, but this was a long post, so I’ll post two more photo re-caps in the next day or two.)