For many years I didn’t know I was beautiful.

I felt so different from other girls and women that I assumed people would stare at me because I was weird, not because I was intriguing or pretty.

I had curly hair, and I wanted it to be sleek and straight.

I was short and curvy and wanted a more angular, athletic build.

I had pale, freckled,  acne-prone skin, and I wanted tan, smooth, blemish free skin.

But, most importantly, on the inside, I always felt less than adequate, with my fumbling social skills and natural reticence.

I was hyper aware of all my defects and wondered about my worthiness.

Honestly, I still struggle with all of those insecurities..

Hence the motivation for starting this blog and the tagline bellisima: becoming beautiful inside and out.

Bellisima means “most beautiful” in Spanish or Italian.

I think we are all in the process of becoming our most beautiful as we practice for heaven.

It may take some time, but my deepest desire is for all of us to see ourselves as God’s beautiful creation.

As I’ve written before, I tend to focus on my outside appearance to deflect and distract myself and others from many inner flaws.

I have to die to myself daily to rise up every morning and see hidden beauty reflected in my mirror–beauty in the wizened wrinkles and lines, beauty in the deepest part of me not obvious to myself or others.

Don’t get me wrong, I love outside beauty.

And I’ve learned to love and enhance my own.

God created this world so lovingly for us to enjoy, with breathtaking people and images.

These are good, but our society and our insecurities corrupt true beauty.

We value people for their outer beauty without regard for inner beauty.

Or we take beauty that doesn’t belong to us and turn it into something dirty.

This creates in me and you a need to present a glossy veneer with no real substance, a cover made for acceptance or self-preservation.

But, you know how someone we don’t consider particularly pretty or handsome can suddenly become lovely or attractive to us as we get to know them?

That’s the true beauty of their spirit shining through the outer cover.

“For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV

Sure our outside appearance can be improved with tweaks and touch-ups, make-overs or make-unders.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling confident in your appearance, in wanting to feel as lovely outside as you are inside.

But true beauty is more than our skin, it’s an intangible eternal loveliness that know one can dispute or objectify.

I share my struggles with you so together we can become beautiful.

I share my insecurities with you so together we can learn to enhance our outer beauty, yes.

But more importantly, I want us to love who God is transforming us into on the inside.

I know I have plenty of room for growth as I’m transformed by the power of God through the Holy Spirit.

But if I’ve learned anything in the past 42 years, it’s that I am made for a perfect purpose even in my imperfect state:

You and I were created to use everything God has made us to be, inside and out,  for His honor and glory, and to bring imperfectly beautiful people just like you and me into his presence, where all  God’s people  will be made beautiful into eternity.

How about you? What insecurities do you wrestle with?  Do you believe you’re beautiful inside and out?