Husbands love your wives

Even as Christ also loved the church

And gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25)

These words were Paul’s somewhat simple instructions for the church.  Perhaps he did this intentionally because he knew most men could only remember one thing on any list.

How do we know that Christ loved the church? We know because he gave his life for her.  The scriptures go on to say:

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.

That he might present it to himself a glorious church

not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing;

but that it should be holy and without blemish…..Beautiful!

Christ loves us (the church) so much that he died for us so that we might be beautiful.  He must have seen the beauty that was covered by the brokenness, the ugliness.  And his desire was that the world would see it, and us, as beautiful.

Celi has been asking me to write about what makes a woman beautiful.  I am not qualified to do that; I have three degrees but not one of them is in beauty. I couldn’t even tutor in that subject.  I suppose she thinks I know the answer because I tell her she is beautiful all of the time. 

I certainly hope she believes me because I mean it every time.

To define beauty is not an easy thing to do.  When I was searching for the woman of my dreams my rubric included:  long dark hair and pretty.  That was it. I’m a man of simple tastes.

The long dark hair was easy but what makes pretty?  I googled, “What makes a woman beautiful?” and the first article that popped up was, “7 traits that make men really attracted to women”.  I will list them for you.

Fun

Confidence

Independence

Strength

Vulnerability

Femininity

Happiness

There you have it.  Problem solved.

I don’t know about you but I don’t buy it.  I tend to disagree with “the norm”.  I’m stubborn like that. I’ve learned nothing can be that simple. My ideal woman is more than a laundry list of attributes.  The list may as well read cliché, cliché, etc….

Celi was right. The world needs a different definition of beauty.

What makes a woman beautiful?  I think people learn best when they can connect with the content so I am going to walk you through this using my own eyes and experiences.

Here is my list:

• I had looked at my wife for years because we went to the same elementary, middle and high school.  But the first time I really saw her, when she was 17, I thought she was the most beautiful person in the world.  Every time I look at her now, it’s like I see her for the first time. When I walk into a room she’s in, I have to stop in my tracks because the encounter momentarily steals my breath.  Beautiful.
• I always get up before she awakens. While she is still and sleeping, there is enough light in the room to illuminate the softness of her face surrounded by her long, dark hair.  Beautiful.
• At night we usually watch a bit of television before we fall asleep.  I usually get to choose what we watch so I pick a funny program.  She usually falls asleep instantly.  I will laugh at a funny part and she will wake up just enough to let out a giggle, only because she knows it is more fun to laugh with someone else.  Beautiful.
• When I am in the shower she will forget and flush the toilet.  We all know what happens next.  She says sorry, sorry, sorry.  But she will do it again tomorrow.  Beautiful.
• When my boys walk near her she grabs on to them as tight as she can.  I see in their eyes that they wonder if she will ever let them go.  The answer:  She will not.  Beautiful.
• When she argues with my daughter who is so much like her, stubborn and beautiful, and then in the next moment they are both laughing so hard they are near tears.  Beautiful.
• She loves me despite the times my own brokenness has caused her pain.  She forgives me seventy times seven.  Beautiful.
• Every scar on her body that she doesn’t want anyone to see, that she thinks is ugly, marks a special moment in our lives together.  The birth of one of our three children or a trial that we endured and overcame. All marks of the years that we have shared.  Beautiful.

I don’t know if I have really answered this question for anyone but myself.

What makes a woman beautiful?  Who can define beauty?

One thing I can say with confidence however:   You are beautiful.  How do I know?  Because you are a child of God, you were created by a beautiful creator in his likeness.  You are the bride of Christ and he gave his life for you so that despite your brokenness, pain and scars you can be beautiful.

Love makes you beautiful.