I’m not into labels. I cannot stand spiritual gift inventories, not because I think other people cannot help me define and discern (emphasis on discern) my gifts, but because I get bored easily and don’t want to be pigeon-holed into what someone else decided was “my gifting”.

Or worse:  I don’t want to hear nor express the excuse “It’s not in my gifting,” when God calls me to just do it:  Just do what you know in your heart of hearts will bring God’s kingdom nearer to you or someone else.

Abraham, Moses, Samuel, David, Mary…they were not “operating in their gifting”. They were completely dependent on God’s power working through them despite their insufficiencies (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I’ve heard pastors preach about a baptism of the Holy Spirit and thought, “Wait…there’s some kind of process!? Someone has to smack you in the head for you to receive the Holy Spirit?”

Hmmm…well consider this your head-smack, beautiful one.

I believe in super-heroes.

I believe in Jesus Christ, who came to earth to live as a man, who willingly died to conquer sin and death, and who was resurrected at the appointed time so that we, too, can be resurrected into a new life. If that’s not super, then what is?

I also believe in the supernatural and omnipotent power of the Holy Spirit. Why can I believe with such certainty? I have always been, for whatever reason, hyper sensitive to a still small voice–even when I’ve wanted to stifle and smother the murmuring.

I sometimes “know” things about people upon seeing or meeting them– things I sometimes wish I didn’t know. I am not psychic, just super-attuned, and not by my own abilities. I can relate to stories of people on the autism spectrum that are hyper aware of certain noises or sensations. I am hyper aware of spiritual sound.  I confess, at times I have prayed this hyper sensitivity would go away.

Some information is too much for me to bear…or bare.

I have also prayed to God in heaven that, if this ability was not from him, he’d take it from me.

Does this gift make me a super-hero or a freak?

Well, if I have to be labeled, I choose “Jesus freak”, because I am certainly NOT a super-hero.

But I choose to allow the One and Only True Super-Hero to work his power through me. And I choose to use that power for good:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Corinthians 13:1

I must choose to operate in love, as Jesus taught me and the Holy Spirit leads me, or any gifts, spiritual or not, are wasted, washed-out wreckage.

So, what’s the Spirit been saying lately, you might ask?

Take a breath and wait for a bit while I prepare the way. Be still, ‘cause it’s fixin’ to get crazy. (Yeah, apparently He can speak Texan.)

I don’t think that word is just for me, beautiful one, so take heart, for I believe God is speaking:  Be still, oh bride, and listen for my direction for what is to come.

So I wait. For what, I’m not sure. In the meantime the enemy hurls stones of doubt and fear I attempt to dissuade in the stillness.

Focus on the glory, not the gory details, Celi.

Focus on the glory, not the gory details, friend.

Just to share a little of my life with you as we become beautiful, here’s what’s up in Celi’s Little Big Weird World:

The Glory

1) Our family is once again under one roof, after two years. Alleluia! My eldest son, Christopher, officially moved up from Wiley/Lamar area two weeks ago.  What a blessing!  He’s working on an alpaca farm. I’ll take him, alpaca caca and all. He brings with him a spirit of adventure, of big-hearted generosity and of stalwart earthiness (no reference to dung here).

2) My middle son, Keaton, is killing it in the first semester of his engineering career track. All A’s thus far. Praise God for his dedication and salient calculation skills. He brightens my day with his sarcastic sense of humor and wit. He’s so much like his daddy.

3) My daughter, Elise, continues to thrive at her new school, despite the initial shock of moving from a tiny, nurturing environment, to a large metropolis of a school. (The first day of class, girls walked in wearing flowing dresses, carrying Starbucks, and whipping there perfectly tousled locks…no joke, just like the movies. It was scary!)These city girls have nothing on my  little chica. She’s going somewhere. She is a writer, like her momma wants to be.  She embodies beauty with her spirit, voice and heart.

4) My husband, Curtis, in his words “gets to” shape and form young minds at UCCS. He loves the flexibility of his job and the great past, present and future educators with whom he gets to spend his days.  He is laying the ground work down for a new organization he’s forming to support Christian public school educators. Be looking for the acronym C.A.P.E.– a name befitting his super-hero status in my eyes.

5) I continue to write and volunteer, and spend time with great new friends, albeit less frequently of late, mostly because I’m easily distracted by all these happenings. I need the newness to wear off.  I also need a job, so I’ve been looking for something part time within my “gifting”…just kidding.  I’m looking for something that will bring in plenty of income, but not suck my time and energy away from my family, writing and volunteering. My husband calls this tent-making. Translating and tutoring are options, as well as becoming a licensed realtor. There are so many things I’d love to do in ministry, but I feel I need some income to make them happen. Perhaps I’m wrong. I hope so.

Here are some of my big dreams, in no particular order of importance:

1) To own a boutique business and use most of the profits to empower women and girls to become beautiful inside and out. It would have a salon for makeovers, its own brand or designer label, and career/ministry coaching. I know..big dream!

2) To publish a memoir about my life–especially my new life in Christ.

3) To build and expand my website/blog to reach more people, perhaps extending to a speaking ministry.

4) To produce another music album. I’ll never regret having risked so much for the opportunity to bless others and introduce them to a relationship with Jesus.

Now for The Gore:

1) None of my dreams are even remotely possible within the economy of the world. We are barely scraping by. We haven’t sold our home in Wiley, and are paying double that house payment in rent. I have been rationing out our gas money so we can all get where we need to go from week to week. We eat a lot of eggs. Cluck, cluck.

2) I still have health limitations that bog me down sometimes and cost me more money than I have. I get sick frequently and tire easily. My strength is limited. When I feel well, I tend to over-work myself because I feel I have a limited wellness window. I may never be completely healed this side of heaven. I am still learning to be still.

3) On the subject of homes:  The one we are currently renting is now for sale, so we may be scrambling for another place to rent in the near future. As a home-maker, this rattles me a great deal. Finding another place to live on limited funds is occupying too much of my mental space.

4) I miss my mommy and the rest of my family and friends in southeast Colorado.  Just to be clear:   I don’t miss living there…sorry! It was a wonderful place to raise our family, but I was exhausted travelling back and forth to doctors and specialists every week or two. It was simply time to go, for many reasons. I just want everyone to move here–especially my mom, because I’m selfish that way.

Do you see how the gore might take over the glory?

Here’s where I have access to special powers over the bad guy(s):

I stand on the solid rock of Jesus as my foundation, and by the power of His blood; and, with the help of the Holy Spirit, whom intercedes on my behalf, I categorically refute and rebuke any negative circumstance or thought.

1) I may not be wealthy, but I am rich in blessings (see The Glory, above). I refuse to operate in the economy of the world, for I’ve set me sights on things above (Colossians 3:1). Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4). I claim my inheritance, in Jesus name.

2) Christ came so that I may be healed body and spirit, by his stripes (Isaiah 53:5).  I claim His power over my weakness because of His grace (2 Corinthians 12:9). Though my body is weary, I claim access to unseen glory and strength ( 2 Corinthians 4:16,  Psalm 73:26).  I will not be persuaded or dissuaded (Acts 21:14; 2 Timothy 4:7; 6:12). I will not tire of doing good (Galatians 6:9).

3) Christ reminds me that to worry about what I’ll eat, drink and where I’ll live is sin (Matthew 6:25). As God provides for the birds of the air and flowers of the field, He will provide for me (Matthew 6:26). When I get discouraged, I will picture myself and all my friends and family sitting at a banquet table at a wedding supper, in a home with many rooms that Christ himself has been preparing for me and my loved ones (Revelation 19:19, John 14:2,3).

4) Though I miss my friends and family, I belong to a large family of witnesses, united not only by past and present experiences, but by an eternal Love that never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8; John 3:16). Great will be our reunion in heaven at the wedding supper of the Lamb.

And these things, even my big dreams, are not possible because I believe in little ole wimpy me–for nothing is possible on my own, but everything is possible through He who gives me super-human strength (Phillipians 4:13).

These things are all possible because I believe in an all powerful God who desires to give his children good gift according to his will.

Good thing I believe in super-heroes.

Beautiful one, maybe you, too are wrestling real or perceived negativity. Maybe God has placed in you a super-human dream.

I challenge you to look up all the scripture in this post and receive your Super-Hero power.

SMACK!