1)       You belong with your new bride, but you will always be mine, too. I won’t ever be able to look at you and not long to smooth your hair and hug your neck. Forgive me in advance when I can’t resist the urge. For so many years, I was in charge of not just your grooming—for I know every cowlick on your hair and every crevice of your ear– I was also in charge of showing you what love looks like.  I promise to encompass your beautiful wife in that love. It gives me joy to know you get to perpetuate what I’ve taught you now with your own wife and family.

2)       You might see me cry, but it’s only for a little while. I look forward to another kind of bond created by new memories together. Know this, Mijo:  There’s always always enough love to go around and around a thousand times for a thousand years and more. That’s how God meant love to happen:  in perpetuity. I may cry at your wedding, but they’ll be rejoicing tears mingled with the sweet memories of carrying you so closely. I held your heart, and now I charge you to hold her heart as closely as the love legacy continues and becomes your own.

3)       Your father and I don’t want you to be like us. We have tried to model a blessed union, but your heavenly Father perfectly designed marriage. Let your marriage be modeled after Him, not us, not her parents. As scripture tells us, Christ came for a pure bride, his church, and loves her fiercely and unlike any other creation. Let God be the guide that leads you from this temporary bliss, however imperfect, and into the eternal bliss for which we are all practicing. Love well—for nothing else matters–and your marriage will become uniquely, beautifully your own.

4)       Part of a mother’s heartache is founded in the fear that her son will change so much she doesn’t recognize him. That fear is unfounded—for we were all divinely designed for transformation. You have always been enough for me, just the way you are. Now that you’ve become a man, my expectations have to change. You must change, too, but you should always strive to become an even better version of who you already are:  kind, gentle, righteous, witty and hilarious, determined. Growth flourishes in marriage. Who you and she are right now will only become better if you each purpose to do so together. Make each other better, but never lose sight of who God created each of you to be.

5)       When the hardest days come, I will still be here to help you gather yourself back up, to hold you differently. Nothing is too hard for a mother’s love backed by faith. Nothing is too embarrassing. Nothing is too ugly. Whatever happens in life, good and bad, I’ll still do it with you, regardless of where you and I live. Children grow and cleave unto another by God’s design, but I’ve learned that chords to the heart can never be severed. I will be as actively involved as you wish, but know that I will always be waging war against the darkness with my prayers for both of you.

6)       Thank you in advance. Thank you for including me in this beautiful moment– for this glimpse into eternity to the wedding supper of the Lamb. Thank you for doing things so right–for teaching me unwittingly what right looks like through your actions. You honor you father and me with your vows; and you will continue to honor your Creator with your life, because that’s who we’ve raised you to be. Thank you for the honor and the beauty of sharing who God continually molds you to be with your new life and your new wife.

Love you always,

Mama