It has been a while since I’ve written. I am a person of singular focus and have had a lot of background noise taking my time and mental clarity. Believe me when I say I am near obsessive when I’m focused on something. Just ask my family.

Today, as always, I need to be real with you as we become beautiful together.

I just finished real estate school, passed my broker’s exam and am awaiting my license.

Thank you, Jesus!

In the pregnant pause before I can actually start working, I wanted to catch up with you all, my faithful family and friends

This is me being real:  I wish I were more excited and less nervous to jump into a new career and the workforce again.

Having said that, I am confident I will do well if I work hard, and I intend eventually to do more good with any funds I accumulate.

More real:  Truthfully, I can’t help feeling a tiny bit defeated to be working in the secular world and not ministry. Sometimes it seems everything I feel I’m called to do in the Kingdom has little tangible recompense on the earthly realm. By recompense, at least right now, I mean money. Cash. Funds.

I hold tight to God’s promise that what we have done for His glory, though we may never know the impact we have had in the earthly realm, will someday be rewarded on the heavenly realm.

We have certainly never been wealthy, but things have become pretty tight financially since moving from rural southeast Colorado to Colorado Springs, and the knot on the lasso has immobilized me a bit, though in many other ways, the move has been a blessing, especially for my health.

Another blessing:  what we lack in resources we make up for in possibilities for ourselves and for our children.

(Did I mention the views? Oh, my soul. It’s so incredibly beautiful here. With such loveliness our creative God has blessed us.)

Lately, I  have been spending too much time and energy worrying about depleted savings and accumulating bills to maintain my focus on much else.  These thoughts put me into survival mode on Maslow’s  hierarchy of needs:  food, water, warmth, security, shelter.

I don’t think I’m the only one.  Poor Curtis has been working at least three different jobs.  He would never admit it, but I see him getting weary and worried.

All of these motives are more than enough reason for returning to work, although I hope to only work part-time (hmm…I’m not sure how that works in the real estate biz?)  and continue writing, serving and finish raising my family.

Speaking of finishing raising my family, on a VERY happy side note:  My son, Keaton, has just asked a wonderful beautiful perfect girl named Brittany to marry him! She said yes! We are very excited to officially welcome Brittany into our family. They are starting out very young, but with a Rock-steady value system and tons of support.

I know they will have struggles, but if getting married too young is a mistake, at the very least, it’s a beautiful effort; at most, it’s a blessing to do crazy beautiful life with your first and only love, as I have for twenty-three years.  As I look around, I know a lot of lonely people who haven’t found someone they want to risk marrying yet. As Curtis said, “Well, son, you could do a lot worse than to ask a beautiful girl to marry you.”

It’s bittersweet to be almost finished raising children. What a privilege it has been to be mostly home for their last few years with them.

But, now it’s time to look toward the future and fill up the empty days constructively and productively, right?  I can’t be sad for long if I stay busy doing good, right?

Now to get past this pesky road block called finances.

At any rate, in another effort to console myself, I’m borrowing from Bob Goff’s perspective in his book Love Does. Bob Goff works as an attorney, among other duties, in order to be able to generously give.  He wouldn’t have been able to rescue children from slavery in Uganda had he not had the financial stability to just head out and leave to anywhere in the world whenever he wanted. He lives a whimsical life, taking his children and grandchildren on magical life journeys all over the world. I want to grow up and be Bob.

Another author, Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love and  Forgotten God, among others, has a slightly different perspective. Chan slays me. He believes we are in such pursuit of materialism that we lose sight of the One True Thing, namely, God, and God’s commandment to go and make disciples. Chan makes quite a bit of money because of all the books and materials he has sold, and he uses it to further reach and help people. I hope and pray I remain as intently focused on the real prize.

Bottom line:  I worry making money, even if it’s to live without financial fears and bless others, will swallow the me I want to be up.  Please pray with me that everything will work out for our good.

More importantly, please pray with me, beautiful ones, that my focus will remain on heavenly things.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

Do you ever worry that being in survival mode will distract you from your true calling? What has helped you keep your eyes on things above?